You’ll notice I added a “register here” section to the site so that you get an email alert when I post (along with the hundreds of emails you get already!)
Also, a reader asked me why I didn’t enable “comments” to the site. While I try to assume positive intent, people can say things which are hurtful to each other (have even seen this on breast cancer blogs!), so I don’t allow comments. Maybe someday.
Thanks for the feedback…..
So how many of you were rooting for Julianne Moore to win the Oscar?
She’s been nominated a number of times, but never won. In 2002, she was nominated for two Academy awards in the same year (Far from Heaven, and the Hours). Her choices are so varied, and so brave. But the two films I love her the most in are “Trust the Man”, directed by her husband Bart Freundlich – a funny, sad, and entertaining movie with her character married to David Duchovny, who’s having an affair, and Maggie Gyllenhaal with Billy Crudup, as the perpetual child who won’t commit. The dinner scene where he meets Maggie’s new German boyfriend is hilarious.
But the movie I like her best in is “What Maisie Knew” – a beautiful independent film with Julianne Moore as a rock n roll singer, devoted to her child, going through a break up and custody battle with her partner (Steve Coogan). Maisie is a perceptive little girl who relies on her nanny and her mother’s new husband to gain stability in her life, while still loving her flawed parents. Julianne’s scene as the mother who realizes what’s best for her child is amazing. Click here for the trailer…available on Netflix!
TV shows always depict the workplace to be a place of general hilarity and fun.
So not true. A workplace is where you do work, it’s not where you play.
In my career, I’ve seen people play pranks, send emails, make a joke in the spirit of “being funny.” So here’s the biggest difference between work and personal: in your personal life, if someone thinks it’s not funny, they’ll just ignore you. When someone at work thinks it’s not funny, they can make a complaint or worse, or you can set off a chain of events which you did not intend. (BTW, I have never seen this end well, no matter how innocent the act was.)
Once there is a complaint, it will need to be investigated. And your intent will not matter: what will matter was whether or not the injured party was justified feeling the way they did. They will look at emails. They will look at text messages. They will interview other employees.
If it crosses your mind that “this might not be a good idea”, listen to your instincts and suppress the urge. Want to be funny? Poke fun at yourself.
Being the child of immigrant parents, I definitely grew up with a sense of not wasting (food, electricity, anything). And as I started working, I struggled to get some balance between my spending and earning. Do I buy because I want it? Because I can afford it? So, for me, my peace of mind is based on being frugal, because I spend less on stuff I don’t need. It’s that simple. I don’t buy because I can, I buy because I really want to. There’s a great saying from World War II that has resonated with me.
“Use it up.” – Are you one of those people with lots of half empty bottles? This one is for you. Try and wait till you’re really need the next bottle.
“Wear it out.” – We never wear things out anymore. We buy because we want variety. There are two lessons learned, especially as it relates to your wardrobe: 1) you only wear about 10% of your wardrobe consistently, and 2) once you figure out what looks good on you, you tend to buy it over and over, but you upgrade the quality.
“Make do.” – You don’t need every gadget. You probably have something can do the job just as well already.
“Do without.” – You just don’t buy it. You keep walking.
Recite this once when you’re tempted to buy something you know you don’t need. Here’s an interesting article about living with a lot less.
This is something I once read that really struck me because we usually do this reversed. We hire fast, and fire slow.
Firing is very hard. It feels terrible. You try and try to make it work…and while there are small signs of improvement, you end up sliding back into the “this isn’t working” place. And you can’t honestly recommend this person to anyone else in your organization. Here’s the problem with firing slow.
Once you’ve come to the conclusion that you need to fire someone, chances are you’re already overdue. You’ve taken on the burden of their work, or their colleagues have. You’ve gotten the complaints from others about the person. Your group meetings are tense because people resent the individual. Mistakes are being made, projects are falling behind schedule. You’re spending the majority of your time on this person. Human resources has heard about the person.
Firing someone is not saying they are bad, or a failure. It’s usually about wrong job in the wrong company, and maybe the wrong industry. BTW, they are probably miserable also: it’s not fun to be unsuccessful in a job day in and day out. Needless to say, human resources are the experts in these cases. The minute you sense that this might be the outcome, you need to get them involved.
Hiring is the exact opposite. You’re both on your best behavior during the interview process: anyone can be charming/smart/fun for an hour. But you need to really assess whether or not the person can be successful in the role you’re interviewing them for.
Some interview questions I like: (everyone knows the strengths and weaknesses question, and they always pick a weakness that sounds like a strength: e.g. “I’ve been told that I drive hard and sometimes need to slow down.”)
1. “What would the people at work who like you say about you? What would your detractors say?” (It’s like the strengths and weaknesses question, but forces them to look at it from another person’s point of view, not their own. It’s also hard to lie. When they have nothing to say, it tells me they might not be very self-aware).
2. “Why do you want to work here?” (It’s amazing, but a lot comes out: both good and bad. I’ve heard everything from “I need a job” to “I have some good friends who work here and they seem really happy”).
3. “Tell me about yourself”..again, another open question (also amazing what people will tell you).
You can’t always get it right when you hire someone. But chances are, your gut instincts are going to be pretty good. I can usually tell in the first 5 minutes of an interview. When someone will be leaving a job, I am even more careful: you want to make sure this is the right thing for them.
Don’t get swayed by the perfect “on paper” resume, and don’t discount the unusual candidate. A CEO once told me that his mantra was “Look for a great athlete, and worry about what position they’ll play later”.
Usually when something goes wrong, someone will tell you what happened and who was involved. A lot of people tend to focus on who dropped the ball.
I find it’s more productive to focus on the process.
The process is the process. And often when something goes wrong, it’s often because the process has weaknesses. A process is like a recipe: meant to ensure the same outcome every time someone makes it, no matter what their skill level is. There is a big difference between a list of ingredients and a great recipe.
When we focus on the person, we miss the point, which is anyone could have been doing those steps and had the same problem happen to them.
So the next time a situation comes across your desk, ask what the process is and figure out how to change the process so it doesn’t happen again-no matter who was doing the steps.
It’s rare I hear anything really new in the way of advice (this is what happens when you’ve worked as long as I have). But I recently attended an event where a senior woman shared that this is what she tells her children, which I thought was very true.
“Find a good person and make your problem their problem.”
Very often, we’re afraid to ask for help, or we go to the wrong people. When you’re stuck with a problem, this is a great thing to keep in mind.
So, I just went through this myself. A colleague went to my boss to complain about how something was disseminated in the organization. He felt “out of the loop” and blindsided. And while it had been communicated, the details hadn’t been shared. And I was so knee deep into that project I thought everyone knew about it. So here were the thoughts that ran through my head (I am human).
“What a jerk. He could have called me and said something.” “If he was so interested, he could have initiated the question and found out about it.” “Really? With everything going on, this is what you complain about?”
So after the tirade in my head (and my fingers itching to send a response), I thought: “Well, maybe other people feel the same way. So I probably need to change our process to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” So, I’ll come up with options and ask people to choose.
Do I like the way he did it? No. But will good come out of it? I think so. (But boy, is it hard!)
Whether or not you’re in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is about more than just your significant other.
It’s easy to get swept up in the demands of the job, but moments of joy, for me, only happen with the people I love. (LL#10)
I know for me, work gives me purpose. But the people I love give my life meaning.