I had a friend’s son ping me…he wanted to get my thoughts on something he was wrestling with. He’s a talented kid: lots of interests, smart, and good at many things. He is also very disorganized, can be influenced by “friends” and consequently works himself in a tizzy about “what he should be doing”. We talked it out, and here’s what I learned about the conversation….

The story of what’s happened to Sears is interesting, perhaps not that unusual. The recent article in Fortune caught my eye because of Jim Collins, author of “From Good to Great”, and a lesser known “How the Mighty Fall” which applies here. Lately, it seems that these huge, untouchable brands….Kraft, Wells Fargo, GE are all examples of the once mighty. Most of the time what goes wrong is outside your pay grade…but some things are within your scope, no matter what your role is….

I believe in karma. I especially believe in corporate karma.

Unfortunately, I have heard more bad stories than good stories of how people leave companies. A big driver of this is one of my principles of Personal Profitability – you don’t control when you retire/leave. Conventional wisdom is that it happens at 65….as if that’s a rule. Whether you call it retirement, or spending more time with the family, or whatever….net net you are leaving. Sometimes the leaving is handled with respect and dignity….sometimes the leaving is as abrupt as finding the locks changed when you go home that night.

I think about my dad a lot When you really love your parent, it doesn’t matter if it was the right time for them to leave, it doesn’t matter if they lived a long and good life. You still want more. The one thing I always think about is a conversation I had with him while he was sick with Parkinson’s disease.

I had the responsibility of negotiating a really large contract once, even though I had no experience whatsover in negotiating a contract. While it was terrifying, it also was a really good experience and I learned a lot, especially as we started using third party vendors more and more. Surprisingly, it was also a lot of fun…..you feel like you’re part of a courtroom drama (being offsite, dealing with outside counsel, asking people to leave the room to have confidential conversations). Here’s some lessons learned:

I’ve been in a lot of meetings where a presentation falls flat. Why? Usually because there’s not enough context for the reader. When that happens, either people politely listen, get confused and slow down the presentation asking lots of questions, or start hijacking your meeting. How do you ensure you are providing the right context in your presentation to keep everyone aligned?

There are a number of concepts I’ve learned in my career which have to do with developing financial predictability. It’s a skill that has helped me both personally and professionally. Here’s the list:

I have now had some time to utilize various bank online capabilities. And I have come to the conclusion unfortunately, that not many employees at the firm are using the applications the way they want the clients to. For any financial firm who offers online capabilities, there are five things I wish they would do:

A friend was telling me about a meeting she was having with her financial advisor. She’s conservative, so she keeps a fair amount in cash, in another account at another institution. It’s not earning much, so the advisor pressured her to move the money under him to get a better return. She was inclined to do so “because I felt stupid.” Forget about the fact that he was going to earn a 1% management fee on the money, and at her tax rate, the interest she would earn would be tiny. So a few lessons learned about experts in general:

1. The one thing you will always be expert on is what you need and how you feel about it. It’s the job of a good advisor to help you get what you need and to care about how you feel. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not.
2. Use “experts” for their knowledge to answer questions, but don’t assume they are more expert than you. I am always amazed at how simple questions take forever to answer. Recently, someone recommended a blood thinner…but it required weekly labs and food restrictions. My girlfriend told me to get a different med…so much better.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask questions…there really is no such thing as a dumb question. The only thing you’ll regret is not asking the question. Experts are there because they’re supposed to advise you…..so you’re supposed to be asking questions.
4. Never forget what motivates your “expert”. Advisors are often compensated on very clear metrics: e.g. net new money. If you think your needs override their need to take care of their families and make a good living, you’re mistaken. It doesn’t mean they’re bad, it just means you need to understand their motivation.
5. No matter what the situation, you are your own best advocate. Whether or not it’s financial, medical, tax related….no one will advocate for you like you. If you relinquish that to “an expert”, you’ve just given away your power, and your needs will be prioritized among a larger group that expert is responsible for. When you are your own advocate, you’ll always be number one.

I have found that in my career, I’ve had what I call pivotal moments. They are those moments where you are really tested….and the outcome of how you handle that moment can affect your career going forward. Sometimes because of the aftermath, but mostly because you have now learned “your way” of dealing with the issue. So some observations:

1. Good people tend to think it’s their fault when the situation doesn’t change. I see a lot of people take on a difficult situation the best way they know how, but because nothing really changes, they think it’s their fault.
2. If a talented person is dreading coming into work every day because of the situation, they will leave. Companies are dying for talent.
3. If a talented person is disappointed because their expectations were not managed, they will leave. For example, a promotion which doesn’t happen….and it wasn’t clear to the individual.

If you are the manager, it’s up to you to be vigilant about what’s going on with your employees. If your employee surprises you by leaving, you’re not paying attention.

As an individual, there are several pivotal moments in your career I guarantee you will come across:

1. An actively or passively unsupportive boss, or worse, a boss who is threatened by you.
2. A colleague who is actively or passively unsupportive.
3. A direct report who is not going to make it.

If you haven’t had one of these, that’s great. But it’s pretty hard to avoid these as you progress in your career. A few things to keep in mind: it’s not your stuff, it’s their stuff. But how you react to their stuff can affect your quality of life. What do I find that works?

1. Kill them with kindness. I know, that’s hard when you just want to kill them or avoid them like the plague. But believe it or not, it’s not personal….and when you come from a position of wanting to help, it’s pretty hard to resist and keep being threatened by you.
2. Be frank and honest when you need to be. Don’t let bad behavior go by, and don’t sugarcoat everything. It’s all about the tone: you’re pointing out that something didn’t happen that should have, and you need the person or the situation to change.
3. Get help when it’s over your head. Sometimes, the only way to satisfactorily deal with a problem is to go to hr. Now sometimes it can backfire on you, so make sure your situation is fact based. You have to assume that it won’t be kept confidential….but the right hr person can be invaluable.
4. If you’ve done everything you can, and you’re still miserable, consider a mobility move within a company. There’s a lot of capital that’s built in being a high performer…don’t just throw it away without trying to find another home.
5. If all else fails…….and you are miserable, start looking. But sometimes things can change. Someone I know was looking, and the opportunity fell through…but she ended up getting promoted.