I had a friend’s son ping me…he wanted to get my thoughts on something he was wrestling with. He’s a talented kid: lots of interests, smart, and good at many things. He is also very disorganized, can be influenced by “friends” and consequently works himself in a tizzy about “what he should be doing”. We talked it out, and here’s what I learned about the conversation….

The challenge kids seem to be facing is that once they get into a school, what should they be studying? Everything looks interesting, and the curriculum is a massive buffet of tempting offerings. They know the desired end outcome is to be able to take care of themselves and “be successful” after college….but how to get there? And what if y ou’re good at lots of things?

So as I was talking to him, I asked him…”pretend we’re in an interview right now. Why should I hire you?” After some starts and stops, and some feedback, we actually developed a narrative which felt authentic to him. Now that he had the end, he could figure out what courses and experiences he needed to make his narrative true and compelling. So instead of asking him “what do you want to do when you graduate?”, the question because “why would I hire you?”

When we talked about why he would be hired, we focused on what he was good at, and if those skills are valued, why (which I gave him insight and brutal feedback on as someone in business). So if you have someone who seems to be wrestling with how to get there….jump to the future version of themselves. Role play with them and test what feels right. It might change again along the way, but he felt a lot better after our conversation.