Sisterhood

 

I have no sisters. But lately, I’m realizing that women in my life are becoming more and more important to me. Other women are becoming sources of strength, inspiration, and just making me feel better about myself. This comes as a surprise to me, because I have often looked at other women as competition (for men, popularity, attractiveness benchmarks), or threats (the mean girls).

But I have changed my mind because of the following thing that happened to me recently. Continue reading

Feedback

I find feedback hard. I discount the positive, and I overreact to the negative.

Someone I trust said something interesting to me: “You don’t have to take all the feedback as true. But pay attention to the feedback that really bothers you.

I thought that was a great comment to keep in mind when you receive feedback. My other observation? How seriously I take the feedback is proportionate to how much I respect the person.

If there are people who respect you, take a moment. Give them some real feedback about what they do well, and suggest some actionable items on how to work on their weaknesses. You’d be surprised on your impact.

A great article on someone’s approach to feedback: read about a high school valedictorian’s effort that will blow you away.

“Work is the hot cup of coffee in your lap.”

That’s my saying…what do I mean?

It’s very hard to ignore work. Once you start reading emails, you will be lost to everyone around you. If you spend all your hours at work, your universe will be defined by the office. When you work on the weekends, you get annoyed at interruptions….except that’s when your friends and family get to see you.

If you let it, work will be come the hot cup of coffee: impossible to ignore.

So make sure you focus on leaving the office at a reasonable time. Don’t look at your blackberry constantly. Take vacations. Be present when you need to be. Put down the hot cup of coffee.

A Way to Use Lessons Learned

Some of you have the My Lessons Learned one pager posted where you work, which is really humbling to me that people find it that valuable that they want it as a reminder. Recently, someone told me that she has highlighted the ones that she wants to work on specifically as part of her development plan as a daily reminder.

I thought that was such a great idea: there are times when some of the lessons might be particularly relevant for what you’re dealing with or what you want to focus on improving…and highlighting it is a great reminder to focus your attention. And as you master those, you can focus on others. Until you’ve mastered the whole list.

Full disclosure: it’s been 20 + years, and I’m still working on it.