First, let me say I love my parents.

The Korean culture is one of pride, perfection, and focus on outward achievements. There is a reason Korea is the number one country for plastic surgery. This makes for an interesting upbringing.

I was in the car riding with my parents when they retired to Florida. Here’s what they said to me:

1. What did you eat on the plane?
2. You look like you gained weight. Did you gain weight?
3. Where do you want to eat lunch? (This is after the weight conversation)
4. Have you gotten a facial recently? You need a facial.
5. You are too old to be wearing cheap clothes. You need to buy nicer clothes.
6. I don’t like your glasses.
7. I don’t like your shoes.
8. Your hair is too long.
9. How’s work? (That’s Dad)
10. Why don’t you visit more? Charlie’s mother says Charlie calls her all the time.

That was the first TEN MINUTES of the car ride.

It took me a long time to realize that they criticize because they think I can do better. For a long time, all I heard was “You’re not good enough.”  What the message really is meant to be? “You can be even more than you are.”