Looking back, this is one thing I didn’t do well. I always dreaded feedback time: I didn’t really give myself credit for the good stuff, and I saw all the bad stuff as a criticism. Here’s my lessons learned:
- It’s a lot easier to say what someone is doing well versus what they need help on. But the development areas are what you need to start fixing….soon. At some point, those weaknesses, when not corrected, become something that hinders or haunts you your entire career. So appreciate it when someone goes there.
- If there’s a developmental area you need to fix, ask yourself “What is the one thing I am going to start doing differently tomorrow?” If your behavior doesn’t change, nothing changes…including perception.
- Say the same thing every time, no matter if it’s good or bad: “Thank you for the feedback.” If you’re upset, you need time to think about your response. Don’t try to convince someone at the moment: this is not a debate.
- If you disagree with the feedback: schedule a follow up discussion to talk about it. You want to have a conversation to understand, not to refute. Ask probing questions like:
- “You said I have problems motivating others. What exactly do you mean? What should I do differently?”
- If you get a rave review: take a moment. Bask in it. Do a fistpump…in your head. Then get on with it.
Remember, you’re probably a harsher judge of yourself than anyone else. But you might not be the most insightful.