These are often the “high skill, low will” people you work with. They know everything, but don’t want to share it. It’s a source of power for them as a way to control others and how they are valued in the organization.

Often this is driven out of insecurity: they choose this strategy rather than being confident enough to share their information as part of a team. They prefer being an individual contributer. They think if they share their information, their value to the organization goes down, and they become disposable. Continue reading →

I get to work with some incredibly smart people….most recently, folks who are the best I’ve seen in the communications space.

I used to think communicating was obvious…but it’s very hard to do well. Think about the time you were asked a difficult question, and you felt tongue-tied in your response.

Often people struggle with communicating when they are unsure what is going to happen. Because the questions tend to be about the future (which often changes), our instinct is to say nothing, plead ignorance, or be vague.

I learned a useful way of thinking about this: weather forecasting.

You can probably predict today’s weather and be accurate. But your prediction accuracy is going to diminish as you go more into the future. People understand that. So the strategy is to communicate with certainty what you know now, identify what is probable, and what’s probably not going to happen.

The objective is not to answer every possible question definitely, but to limit speculation.

My own habit:  Before I go into meetings, I think about the hard questions that might come up, and I write down what I want my answer to be and I review it. I don’t want to be scripted, but I want to be authentic and articulate.  I am not as good when I “wing it” compared to thinking about something ahead of time.

Sometimes there’s a disconnect between what you think you do well, and what your boss thinks you do well.

Usually, it’s about consistency.

I’ve had lots of conversations with people on whether or not they are a team player, good manager, good communicator. Here’s the thing:

Inconsistency is what stops you from earning the label. If you’re a team player on some projects, but not on others, people won’t see you as a team player because you’re inconsistent.

So next time you get feedback that surprises you, ask yourself 3 questions:

1. “How consistent am I in doing x? Do I do it all the time?”

2. “When is the last time I exhibited this behavior?”

3. “And the last time I didn’t?”

You’ll find that if you concentrate on doing it all the time, you’ll change perception over time.

Last year, Lego (which means “play well”) surpassed Mattel with $2.1B in revenues in the first half of 2015. Lately, Lego has been in the press for their unique views on leadership.  Jorgen Vig Knudstorp, CEO of Lego has a great quote about failure:

“Blame is not for the failure: it is for failing to help or ask for help.”

This book, “Small Data: The Tiny Clues that Uncover Huge Trends” (see review here) focuses on the danger of conventional wisdom assumptions.  The article talks about how Lego made a strategic decision not to be easier (with bigger pieces), but actually get more complicated (with smaller pieces, complex configurations) because they realized that children got more satisfaction from their symbols of achievement and being the best at something difficult.

This strategy of how they view play,  coupled with the philosophy on asking for help is a powerful combination.  Isn’t that we all want: to achieve great, difficult objectives with the ability to give and ask for help?

Often, strong power people receive this feedback. And often the first reaction is “But I’m nice! I want people to like me! I don’t want them to be afraid of me!”

Intimidating doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad, mean person. It means that sometimes, your power overwhelms the individual and puts them into “flight/fight” mode.

Five things you can do to start changing that perception:

1. Be the last person to speak in a meeting. Not the first. Strong power people tend to be the first. Be the one who sums up what got discussed, next steps.
2. Thank people when they give you bad news. Guess what, if you yell at them? They stop. Do you really want to be the last to know?
3. Show affirming behavior in a meeting. When a colleague or junior person is talking, presenting, and you agree: nod, make eye contact. Say you agree.  Throw your support their way.
4. Acknowledge publicly when your colleagues or more junior people do well. When you say things like “We never could have gotten this project without Joe/Mary/Tim’s help”, watch them get taller.
5. Smile. Say hello. If you look like you’re mad, people assume you are.

I’ve had lots of different roles in my career. And I can pretty much vouch that I’ve always tried to talk the hiring manager out of hiring me.

Like many, I felt that if there was any part of the job that I didn’t know, I was unqualified.

The fact is that if the job’s a stretch, there’s probably at least 40-45% of the role which will be completely new. And that will feel terrifying and seem like grounds for disqualification.

Here’s the thing: you’ll learn the things you don’t know…which is the whole point of taking the next opportunity. It’s ok to feel terrified at a certain level. But don’t rationalize it as an excuse so you don’t make the leap.

Every time someone has spoken to me about the terrifying new job they’ve been presented? I almost always tell them: “Come see me in a month, I think you’ll be great at it”. And that’s pretty much what happens.

I recently caught up with a young woman I’m mentoring: she was concerned that she was repeating her past. She had switched roles, and saw some of the same indications of what stalled her before.

Our conversation focused on that she’s very hard to read. She’s quiet, introverted, soft spoken naturally. But sometimes that gets in the way of people knowing you. And that gets in the way of people knowing what you’re capable of. Continue reading →

So it’s that time of the year when you’re going to receive feedback.  You should have the conversation about 1) your business goals, and 2) your personal development goals.

So the business goal discussion is a pretty straightforward conversation. Less straightforward is the personal development one.

Here’s what you should be thinking about:

1. How did you do? What were the areas of development you wanted to improve on this year? It’s not a long list: 1-3 is fine. But you should check with your manager whether or not you 1) stayed the same, 2) got worse, or 3) got better.
2. Cause and effect: it’s not enough to just know you got “better at communicating.” Ask what was different. You want to know what behavior changes moved the needle so you can keep doing it.
3. Talk about expectations for the next year: this is only one chapter in a long book: what do you want to work on next year?  What would that mean for you (e.g. areas where you need to improve) , and what would that mean for your manager (finding you a mentor, giving you broader scope)?

I never took advantage of the year end discussions the way I should have. Don’t make my mistake.

I am ruthless as an editor. If you put a presentation in front of me, I will try to edit it until it is (in my mind) a precisely written thing of beauty.

A blog I like, The Minimalists, focus on minimalism in general….including writing. I like their 11 things to focus on, but in particular:

“Writing is 30% composition, 70% editing.”  The goal here is to use as few words as possible without the reader needing to ask questions. Too often, we use too many words to try and explain something….which only confuses the reader. We often pick the wrong word when precision matters, we omit the words we need to clarify.

Be ruthless when you write. Cross out every unnecessary word. Put it away, and look at it again. See where the gaps are: where you might lose people because you’re not clear. Rewrite it so it’s clearer.

The best presentations are the ones where you’re doing a minimum of explaining.

One of the things I talk about is skill and will. Marla Malcolm, the CEO of Bluemercury adds one more: FIT.

What I love about her interview (see article here) is that she is the “queen of the seven minute interview.”  I too, believe in the 7 minute interview but was too embarrassed to admit it.  Skill you ascertain through the resume (what has the person done), and will is about how hungry they are. Fit is also hugely important: not everyone can fit.  You can be successful in one culture and an abject failure in another.

I interviewed someone I knew wasn’t a good fit. But my colleagues really liked him, and made me interview him twice. I didn’t like him any better the second time. But I caved in, and we hired him. We ended up having to terminate him 10 months later. Did he have the skill and will? I think so. But the fit wasn’t there.

So when you interview someone, or interview for yourself, remember the three things.