Category Archives: Leadership

Don’t be an order taker

This is a big pet peeve of mine. When someone acts like “an order taker.”

What do I mean by that? You get a request or a task which is dependent on inputs from someone else, and you just pass it through. You copy and paste into your document and pass it on. You accept the requirements. You don’t question. You just fill the order.

Does it take a lot more work to ask questions and ask for clarification? You bet. But if it passes through your hands, it’s now yours. You’ve taken their inputs and incorporated it into your output: whether it’s a report, a system enhancement, a change request.  So if you had no idea what they were talking about, it doesn’t put you in the best position to defend what you did. And “that’s what they said” isn’t a great explanation.

Ask the questions. Make sure you understand what they’re trying to convey. They may get irritated, but explain why you’re asking… because you want the best possible outcome. And don’t constantly send it back with lots of little comments or questions. Set up a meeting, walk through it, and if need be, take the pen. Everyone will be better off.

13. Be a true team player.

Out of all the lessons learned, I would put this one in my top 3.

Being a team player is not about lip service. It’s about truly believing that the power of a team will be better than the single contributor.

I have never, in my entire career, met someone who was so good that they did better than the team would do. So here’s some observations about what it takes to be a true team player, all learned when I played JV basketball in high school, which I loved. But was terrible at.

1. You communicate quickly to help those in trouble.

This means you don’t just watch people go over a cliff if you think they’re headed the wrong way. It means you figure out a way to help them, to pull them aside, to guide them. On the court, that means you yell at your teammates “Heads up!” so they know what’s going on. You are fast and loud, but for their best interest. Teammates don’t take it personally.

2. You go after a loose ball, even if it’s not your job.

One of the rules of basketball: you go after the ball. If it breaks loose, is headed out of bounds, you go after it if you’re the closest to it. You don’t argue whether or not it’s your job. When you’re on a team, if you see a ball that needs to be picked up, do it. You can argue position later.

3. You work with each other to get better, but you don’t ignore your skills either.

For basketball, that’s practice every day for hours. Individual training and team play practice. And scrimmages against each other. And of course, the games.

At work, it comes in the form of staff meetings, individual development plans, individual and team goals, and execution. Every day you’re going out on the court. How did you play today? How did your team do? You can’t win as an individual if your team loses. And your team can win, but not be helped by you.

4. You have coaches, you have captains, you have stars.

Their job is to win, and do what’s best for the team. You don’t get to pick if you want to be the coach, captain or star. The coach is the one held accountable for how the team does.  The captain is elected by the team. And you’re a star if you are clearly the go-to person.  You’re not always going to like how this plays out, but it is what it is.  A lot of people want to be stars…but are you the go-to person? And don’t resent the stars: support them, and be glad for the lift they give the team. If you want to be a captain….did the team elect you? If you’re a coach, do you hold yourself accountable for the team’s performance, or do you look for excuses?

5. The team is bigger than just the players on the court.

Teams are big for a reason. When someone gets hurt or tired, the second string gets tapped and has to perform. Everyone matters. Don’t make the mistake of defining your team too narrowly (“My team is just who reports to me”). The more you exhibit teamwork across the biggest, most inclusive definition of team, the more successful you’ll be.

When you win, you savor the moment for a few hours. But you’re already onto the next game, the next challenge. Nothing promises that you’ll do it again next time. Just like work.

 

Help.

Help. A small word, but so powerful.

It means you’re doing something for someone else. You’re trying to get someone to a better place. You are stepping in to turn around a bad situation. It’s about someone else.

Here are a couple of ways to incorporate “help” at work that I like.

1. When someone asks me to do something, I always say “I’m happy to help.”  I don’t say “fine”, “sure”, “ok”. When I say it, I mean: “I am on your side and will work to make you/this successful”.  I saw this happen at a management meeting where a CEO asked one of his directs to do something, and that was the person’s response. It always struck me as a gracious answer.

2. A junior person asked me for advice. She had down time during the day and wanted to do more. She spoke to her manager, but nothing had come out of it. She was wary about constantly asking her manager for more things to do, to own…she didn’t want to seem like a nag.  My suggestion to her was to ask him periodically, “How can I help?” It’s hard to get annoyed when someone’s offering to help.

3. Whenever I finish up my meeting with my manager, I always ask “Is there anything you need help with?” I just find it’s a good way to make sure there isn’t something that needs attention, and he knows that I care.

Here’s what I’ve learned about being my best self: being confident that I could help made it easier to put my fear of failing to the side. So when you find yourself fearful of taking the risk, ask yourself “Can you help?”

A quote I love….”Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.”

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Clear eyes, full heart.”

For those of you who have watched Friday Night Lights….you know what this means.

This was a show that got a lot of critical acclaim, but didn’t get the attention of the masses.

It’s available on Netflix: the hero of the show is the coach: he  is an amazing example of leadership. He’s tough, he’s demanding, and he’s loved. He’s noble. This was his motto.

Watch here on youtube a tribute of the show. Take a moment and give yourself a shot of inspiration. Can’t lose.

6. No substitute for in person talking.

There are times when nothing can substitute for in person talking. There are two situations where I have seen communications go awry.

1. You offend someone. People are sensitive. And while email and texts are efficient, they can lack context and end up miscommunicating intent. And though you didn’t intend to do it, now you’ve got to go mend fences.  I have seen two very senior people not speak to each other for months because of a miscommunication. It can happen because someone got blindsided in a presentation, because an inappropriate response was sent to many people on email, because something got repeated out of context…you get the drift.

When this happens, you need to go see the person and have the conversation. It doesn’t have to be confrontational…often a “Hey, got a minute? I wanted to talk to you about something …” works. Then have the conversation you probably should have had in person versus email/powerpoint/text or whatever form it came in instead.  You don’t need to apologize for your point of view, but you do need to apologize for how you made the other person feel.  I have said things like ” I didn’t mean to make you feel I was unsupportive. I didn’t mean to make you feel blindsided.” Then move on.

2. There’s a crisis brewing, but you rely on email or voicemail to tell people.

This is the “bad news does not age well.” When you have a problem or issue, here are the steps I’ve taken to make sure people are aware.

1. I stick my head in the office with the “heads up” message. Yes, I interrupt if it’s important enough. It usually goes like this:

“Just wanted to make you aware, we just found out that x happened. We’re still chasing down all the facts, but it looks like y, but we won’t know until probably end of day today. I’ve got Joe and Nancy working on it, and we’ll come back to you when we have more data.”

In that 15 second sentence, the following happened 1) I let my boss know, 2) my boss knows it just happened, 3) he knows I’m looking into the details, 4) he knows when I’ll get back to him, and 5) he knows who I have assigned the problem to.

Now, my boss might have more questions, but in 15 seconds, I covered the most likely set of questions which he would ask. the most important thing: I got to him before anyone else did.

2. More time has passed, and now I have more information. So I’m back in my boss’s office, telling him 1) chronology of what happened, 2) what we need to do now, 3) what we still don’t know, 4) who’s been notified or needs to be told, 5) if I need resources/take action to resolve.

3. After the crisis is resolved, I always go back with the team with the question: “What do we need to change to make sure this doesn’t happen again?”. Nothing is worse than a problem that repeats itself.

And those two senior people who stopped talking? I advised one to go and buy the other person a cup of coffee and go visit him in his office. Just a casual “stop by”. They chatted, and started talking again.

 

 

 

Feedback Decoded: “People don’t know if you can make the hard decisions”

This is another way of saying you’re too nice. When someone says this to me, it almost always is in reference to someone who is very nice, easy to get along with, non-confrontational, goes with the flow.

Those would seem like positive attributes. Here’s what they’re worried about: every person will be faced with making a hard decision in their career: one that’s unpopular, difficult, emotionally draining, but still the absolute right thing to do. The question in their mind is “will you still be able to do the right thing, even if it’s difficult?”  You can’t be maniacal about doing the right thing if you’re afraid of the hard decisions.

If you get this feedback, you want to make sure it’s clear to people around you that while your style may be balanced and calm, you can still make the hard decisions. When’s the last time you put a contrary position on the table for discussion? When’s the last time you productively pushed back?  People look for examples of past behavior to confirm that you have the ability to do so in the future.

If you’re not able to do it, try to understand what holds you back. Are you afraid of being wrong? Have you always been the peacemaker in your family? Are you afraid of confrontation?

What helps me push through my fears is if I believe it’s the right decision. When it’s about the decision, it gets easier because it’s not about you. Try not to focus on what it means for you….instead, focus on why you believe. Then make your case.

 

What Makes a Leader?

This is an old article from the Harvard Business Review, but reading it again reminded me of how on point it still was. Written by Daniel Goleman, who first brought the concept of “emotional intelligence” with his book, this article is still incredibly relevant, if not more.

Goleman talks about the five components of Emotional Intelligence at Work:

1) Self Awareness: what’s interesting is that the hallmarks of self-awareness are self-confidence, but also a self-deprecating sense of humor. I recently saw a job posting describing the culture of the firm: one word they used that stuck out to me that you don’t see very often- humble.

2) Self-Regulation: the simple “think, before you speak or act”. He says “People who are in control of their feelings and impulses – that is, people who are reasonable – are able to create an environment of trust and fairness.”

3) Motivation – “a passion for work for reasons that go beyond money or status.”  Phrasing this differently, the reasons can be for ideals bigger than you. Dedication to your company. Becoming a doctor because you lost a relative to a disease . The people who are really inspired and are inspiring work for something even bigger.  Motivation that’s only about you doesn’t make you a leader. If you have to tell people that you do the right thing for the firm and that it’s firm first, you’re trying too hard. Most people who are motivated by something bigger than themselves never tell you what the reason is: it’s only by getting to know them that you find out.

4) Empathy: often this is misinterpreted as trying to make everyone happy. It actually means considering employees’ feelings before you act. You can still make hard decisions while being empathetic. Empathy isn’t an excuse for not doing the right thing.

5) Social Skills: this is why teamwork comes up so much when employees are assessed. These are people who know who to call, how to get people to help: they understand how to navigate the system. They know how to pull people together, not allow them to drift apart into self interested factions.

Can you succeed without emotional intelligence? Maybe. But wouldn’t you rather be a leader who has these traits?

 

Men I Admire: Derek Jeter

 

Confession, I know nothing about baseball. But even I can’t ignore Derek Jeter, the captain of the New York Yankees. He announced that he will retire next year, which is probably the biggest thing to happen in baseball in years.

I won’t go through all his achievements in baseball. He doesn’t have the best numbers. But as captain of the Yankees, he clearly knows a thing or two about leadership. He is universally respected and admired…even by the opposing teams. He is a quiet leader who leads by example. No scandals, no embarrassing publicity, no regretted tweets.  Ever.

One of the quotes from him that I love is the following:

“You can’t be afraid of failing. You have confidence if you’ve had success in the past. I’ve done it before, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to be successful again.”

Often people avoid the tough situations because they are afraid of failing or making a mistake. But you also don’t learn anything new.  If you have lots of different experiences and take the tough assignments, you will learn what it takes to be successful. And while it’s no guarantee of future success, it does build your confidence so that you can handle the new challenges that get thrown at you. Confidence doesn’t mean arrogance. Confidence is believing that what you’re doing will get you to the right outcome.  If you don’t believe, why should anyone follow you…and isn’t that what leadership is?

Thank you Derek Jeter, for someone everyone can look up to. Check here for his last game at Yankee stadium. Unbelievable.

 

Great Leadership Moments

One of my favorite movies is “Rudy”. It’s based on a true story about someone who against all odds, goes to Notre Dame, and gets to be a member of the football team. Because he is small and short, he doesn’t get to play but he shows up to every practice with heart and soul.

I won’t ruin the end for you if you haven’t seen it. But one of my favorite moments is when it’s the second to last game of the season, and he still hasn’t played.  Watch what his team does.

That’s leadership.