The First Most Important Lesson I Learned About Money

There are many books about how to obtain financial independence. This one book, “Your Money or Your Life” changed my life. No exaggeration.

Why? Because it introduced the concept of being able to pay your expenses through income derived from savings, not just salary.  I always thought the only way to live was to earn wages.  But I knew I wanted more flexibility, independence, and freedom in my life. I wanted choices. So I was willing to save to do it.

It’s not easy to do, but everything starts with one step. You have to become an HCS (Highly Committed Saver).

The step is to decide how much money you will commit to saving for you. You’ve probably heard this in the form of “Pay yourself first.” It can be any amount you choose, but it has to be something you will commit to and do with every paycheck.  Like everything in life worth having, it depends on consistency.  Most people look at what they have leftover AFTER they’ve paid all their bills…..and a lot of times, there isn’t much.  This step requires you to commit to a number ahead of time.

By making this commitment to yourself, you’re more likely to make the decisions that you need to make during the month to ensure you’ve got the ability to cover your promise. You’ll pass on the spur of the moment purchase, the sweater on sale that you don’t really love,  the brunch with the huge group of people which isn’t a lot of fun, but costs you $75 by the time the bill is split. And little by little, it will start accumulating.

Here’s why this is so important. It’s because of compounding. The power of time. So here’s how it works based on a study which was done by Market logic:

Joe opens an IRA at 19 years old. For 7 years in a row, he puts $2,000 into his IRA, avg growth of 10%. Then he stops. No more contributions. He’s done.

Tom doesn’t contribute until 26. Then he puts $2,000 a year until he’s 65. Avg growth of 10% again.

Joe ends up with $930,641. Tom ends up with $893,704.

Now it takes more than just this to obtain financial independence. And yes, 10% returns are high and won’t happen every year. But no matter what the rates are, you get the point. New Year’s Eve is around the corner: doesn’t this seem like a great resolution? What are you waiting for?

“It’s not how much you make, it’s how much you keep.”

 

Feedback Decoded: “People don’t know if you can make the hard decisions”

This is another way of saying you’re too nice. When someone says this to me, it almost always is in reference to someone who is very nice, easy to get along with, non-confrontational, goes with the flow.

Those would seem like positive attributes. Here’s what they’re worried about: every person will be faced with making a hard decision in their career: one that’s unpopular, difficult, emotionally draining, but still the absolute right thing to do. The question in their mind is “will you still be able to do the right thing, even if it’s difficult?”  You can’t be maniacal about doing the right thing if you’re afraid of the hard decisions.

If you get this feedback, you want to make sure it’s clear to people around you that while your style may be balanced and calm, you can still make the hard decisions. When’s the last time you put a contrary position on the table for discussion? When’s the last time you productively pushed back?  People look for examples of past behavior to confirm that you have the ability to do so in the future.

If you’re not able to do it, try to understand what holds you back. Are you afraid of being wrong? Have you always been the peacemaker in your family? Are you afraid of confrontation?

What helps me push through my fears is if I believe it’s the right decision. When it’s about the decision, it gets easier because it’s not about you. Try not to focus on what it means for you….instead, focus on why you believe. Then make your case.

 

It’s OK not to know what you want to be when you grow up

I can’t tell you how many people are relieved when I tell them this.

The impression I get is that people think senior people always knew what they wanted and how they were going to get there. That there was a plan.

Speaking for myself, there was NEVER a plan. I was a history major undergrad, and I thought I was going to be a lawyer. But I ended up working in banking, and decided to stay in financial services. I have held positions in marketing, operations, pricing, new product development, reengineering. I’ve worked in credit cards, private banking, corporate banking, retail brokerage, and high net worth asset management.

My point is that clearly I didn’t have a plan. But I did have two requirements: that my next job was always going to be challenging in some way because there were new things to learn, but I would also be able to contribute to the role immediately because of what I already knew.  That way, I wasn’t walking into a job where everything was new.

When you’re starting out in your career, it’s perfectly ok not to know what you want to be. Here’s the analogy I gave to someone recently:

Imagine a huge buffet with 300 different dishes. Knowing what you want to be when you grow up is like me asking you “What is the one dish you want to eat for the rest of your life?”  It’s reasonable for you to look at me and say “But I’ve only tasted this one dish!”

As you progress in your career, you’re going to try lots of different things. You’ll figure out what you like and what you don’t like, and hopefully, you find the dish you’ll want to eat for the rest of your life.

But in the meantime, relax. It’s ok not to know. Just make sure you’re doing what you need to do to eventually figure it out.

How to Help Your Boss Help You

One of my favorite movies is Jerry Maguire. I mean, how could you not love that movie? I love it because it’s about standing up for what you believe in, figuring out what’s important, living a life that’s authentic to you.

The greatest line is when Jerry is telling Rod “Help me help you.” My favorite scene is here.

Many of you are starting to think about your next role…but you don’t know quite how to figure out what that next role is. After all, all you know is your role.  So you have a conversation with your manager….and he/she is equally perplexed how to help you find that next role too because they are also limited to what they know.

So here’s the question I would ask your manager:

“Who are the three people you think I should meet with who could help me figure out what my next role might be?”

Every manager knows three people who can be helpful in this capacity: either because the person has been at the firm a long time (the Guide), or because the individual has had lots of mobility moves themselves (the Mobility Whisperer), or because the person is trusted and respected (the Sage).  Once you get the names, send an email to each of them separately that says something like “Hello G, my name is Sue, and I’m currently working for Joe in x department in Marketing. I’ve been thinking about what my next step might be, and he suggested that you would be a good person to talk to. Can I set some time up on your calendar at your convenience?”  It might take some time to set up, but most people love to share their experiences and help someone else.

This way you can move the ball forward, expand your network, and figure out what your next move might be.

Givers and Takers

I tend to divide the world constantly into two groups.  This interesting article starts with a view about dividing the world into two groups: the givers and takers. The beginning is a great story about how a man running a tennis camp shares a very simple concept with the kids, and changes behavior the very next day.  Read the article here.

Are you a giver or are you a taker? Can givers be friends with takers? Can takers masquerade as givers? Can takers be happy?

I know a lot of givers. What I like about them is their generosity, their view of doing the right thing, and how they put their needs to the side authentically. They give when no one is watching.  They’re genuinely happy for your success.

Takers are tiring: they feel depleting to be around. You feel you have to hide your wins because you don’t want them to feel bad. You’re not your best self because you’re defensive. Everything gets defined by how they feel.

One lesson learned for me is that I am not my best self when I have takers in my life. Reciprocity is one thing, but feeling like you’re the one who’s always giving is exhausting. While it’s never easy to remove takers in your life (they can be family members, long time friends), it does change the quality of your life.

Something to think about. What are you surrounded by?

“If all you have is a hammer, every problem is a nail.”

Imagine you’re working on your house. You’re learning how to nail with a hammer. At first, it was awkward, you hit your thumb, didn’t hit the nail straight. But eventually you got better. You mastered the skill. There are other tools: a sander, a wrench, an electrical sensor. But they’re new, and they look scary. You know you won’t be as good with those tools as you are with the hammer.

Here’s the thing. The more tools you know how to use, the more problems you’ll be able to fix. Sure, it won’t feel comfortable. You’ll go through the same learning curve that you did with the hammer. But eventually, you will get the hang of it. And you’ll know how to fix the problem with the right tool: not using the hammer when there’s a much better alternative.

Pushing yourself to learn new skills is the same thing. Yes, it won’t feel comfortable. You’ll miss the hammer. But if you keep pushing yourself and taking the hard assignments, you can be the general contractor, not just the person who knows how to hammer.

 

How to Write

I have struggled with this from the time my English teacher at school gave me C+s on my papers no matter how hard I worked on them. It was incredibly frustrating (plus I didn’t like the teacher). But, I did learn how to get better.

So, I’ll let you in on a lesson learned. There are only 2 rules you need to follow:

1. Use the fewest number of words possible AND

2. Leave nothing open to interpretation

If you are able to meet the above criteria, you will have hit the mark.  It applies to everything: emails, presentations, submissions to a report. I can’t tell you how many times people add tons of detail which isn’t relevant, or they’re ambiguous with their language so that the meaning is unclear.  I have seen situations when one poorly chosen word confused the entire audience. Stop. Take a moment and see if you meet these top two criteria. And re-read your copy of Elements of Style.

What Makes a Leader?

This is an old article from the Harvard Business Review, but reading it again reminded me of how on point it still was. Written by Daniel Goleman, who first brought the concept of “emotional intelligence” with his book, this article is still incredibly relevant, if not more.

Goleman talks about the five components of Emotional Intelligence at Work:

1) Self Awareness: what’s interesting is that the hallmarks of self-awareness are self-confidence, but also a self-deprecating sense of humor. I recently saw a job posting describing the culture of the firm: one word they used that stuck out to me that you don’t see very often- humble.

2) Self-Regulation: the simple “think, before you speak or act”. He says “People who are in control of their feelings and impulses – that is, people who are reasonable – are able to create an environment of trust and fairness.”

3) Motivation – “a passion for work for reasons that go beyond money or status.”  Phrasing this differently, the reasons can be for ideals bigger than you. Dedication to your company. Becoming a doctor because you lost a relative to a disease . The people who are really inspired and are inspiring work for something even bigger.  Motivation that’s only about you doesn’t make you a leader. If you have to tell people that you do the right thing for the firm and that it’s firm first, you’re trying too hard. Most people who are motivated by something bigger than themselves never tell you what the reason is: it’s only by getting to know them that you find out.

4) Empathy: often this is misinterpreted as trying to make everyone happy. It actually means considering employees’ feelings before you act. You can still make hard decisions while being empathetic. Empathy isn’t an excuse for not doing the right thing.

5) Social Skills: this is why teamwork comes up so much when employees are assessed. These are people who know who to call, how to get people to help: they understand how to navigate the system. They know how to pull people together, not allow them to drift apart into self interested factions.

Can you succeed without emotional intelligence? Maybe. But wouldn’t you rather be a leader who has these traits?

 

26. Be consistent. Random wins don’t make you a first string player.

Consistency is underrated because it’s boring.  But it’s hugely important.

Many times,  I’ve had people point out the times when “they were a leader”, when “they fixed problems”, or “handled things well”.  Yes, but are you consistent? For every time you exhibited those traits, were there times when you didn’t? Or is not demonstrating those traits actually your norm? Consistency means almost always.  You are almost always precise, organized, articulate, strategic, team player….

People value track records, and they value consistency. They want to know that they can always count on you to be predictable. When you’re unpredictable, you’re unreliable.

I’ve sat in a lot of promotion discussions where the issue wasn’t that the person didn’t exhibit the behaviors we were looking for, the issue was they weren’t consistent. Inconsistency raises red flags. It implies risk.

If you get feedback about things you think you do already, ask yourself if you’re consistent and be honest with yourself. When you raise the bar to become more consistent, you raise your game.