Busy vs lazy (freedom?)

I am lazy. My parents would point this out to me when I was growing up.  What that really meant I was doing what I wanted to do, not what they wanted me to be doing. In my head, I would be thinking “Can’t I just be left alone?”  I like lazy. I like not having things to do, places to go, people to see. I love empty spots of time, where I can choose what I want to do because I want to do it.  Because being lazy to me, means being able to be a kid again: to not have people scheduling meetings on my calendar (curses to Outlook), asking to do something, see something, say something.

Sometimes I just want to be on my own. Like when you’re a kid, waking up on a Saturday with the whole day ahead of you. Or when you go to college, and realize you can do whatever you want on the weekend, other than study. Or when you’re on a plane, and people can’t reach you so it’s ok to watch 5 movies in a row. Or when a meeting is cancelled, and you realize you just got time back.

Supposedly, the opposite of being busy is being lazy. I would say the opposite of being busy is having freedom.  This article gives great perspective on the perils of being busy.

Life After Work

Thought this was a great article. Erin Callen was one of those women that got a lot of press: she was the CFO of Lehman Brothers. She was smart, beautiful, and had a C level job.  Then 2008 hit. Read her article in the NY Times here.

I love her comment: “Sometimes young women tell me they admire what I’ve done. As they see it, I worked hard for 20 years and can now spend the next 20 focused on other things. But that is not balance. I do not wish that for anyone. Even at the best times in my career, I was never deluded into thinking I had achieved any sort of rational allocation between my life at work and my life outside. ”

It’s easy to think that women in senior positions have it all. But as you can see from her article, she only has it all now.

How to Have Great Presentations….(more)

Every day, I see great presentations and presentations which miss the mark. And it’s not determined by level: I’ve seen great presentations by junior people and poor ones from very senior people.

So I want to share some observations which might help you. But before I go there….

My pet peeves: tiny font (don’t go less than 12). Huge font. Lack of consistency in format from page to page. No page numbers. Cute pictures or drawings. Too many words: don’t write like you speak. Write like a lawyer. Clear and concise. If you use acronyms, spell it out in parentheses the first time you use it. Spell check (no typos). No weird colors. When using numbers be crystal clear on how they are being calculated. No clear conclusion page (e.g. next steps)…the deck just seems to end mid story. Simple is a hundred times more difficult, but it’s a hundred times more effective.

Hints:

  • Always look at the prior presentations you’ve made on the subject when writing your next one. It’s strange, but a lot of people don’t. It’s part of the story you’re telling. Beware of putting slides they have already seen in front of them again: it looks like there’s been no progress.
  • What are the one or two key messages you want the audience to remember? Is it that everything is going well? Is it that we have some risk? Make sure you know what those key messages are and that you say them In the beginning, in the middle, and at the end.
  • Be clear about what you want your audience to do with the information. Do you need a decision? Are you just informing them? Many times, people present without being clear what it is they need or want from the audience.
  • Send your presentations to your boss ahead of time. No one in your reporting line (boss or subordinate) should be surprised by what’s being presented.
  • When presentations are going badly, stop them. I once sat in on a presentation where the most senior person was getting more and more angry. The presenter kept trying to make his point. I finally intervened and said “David, it looks like we have some more work to do. Let us come back to you with a redraft.”  Sometimes you have to cut your losses.
  • Tell the audience what’s interesting about the work being done….something that they wouldn’t normally know….that is usually the one thing they will remember. What are the insights you have to share?
  • Thank the people who have contributed to the work/success of what you’re presenting. That one thing usually goes a long way to building teamwork. Saying “I” all the time will grate on some folks.
  • Be cautious about re-purposing presentations. It’s rare that the same deck does the job for all situations.
  • Give feedback to others if you were in the audience. Presenters usually know if it went well or not…but they may not always know why.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

I used to be one of those people who didn’t pay much attention to breast cancer. I am Asian, don’t smoke or really drink, no family history, and small chested.

Until earlier this year, when I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer.  As a result of the diagnosis, I went through a needle biopsy, a lumpectomy, and radiation.  All good so far, with tamoxifen for the next 5 years.

So naturally, I have lessons learned about this. Also what surprised me.

1. Listen to your instinct. My ex-gyn did not think it was necessary for me to have a mammogram because I was a low risk candidate for breast cancer. My gut told me otherwise, and I changed doctors. Sure enough, my mammogram showed cancer cells, looking like rice krispies on the screen. At that point, you go into shock. But I started educating myself very quickly on DCIS, and learned in most cases, it wasn’t fatal.

2. Get a mammogram if you’re supposed to.  My cancer cells were behind my nipple: I had no lump. I would never have found my cancer through self examination. I am grateful for the technology that exists that can find cancer early. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. They tell you to hold your breath…”Really? I can’t breathe!” But it’s over fast.

3. Take care of yourself: I worked until my radiation was halfway done. It was 28 days, 5 days a week, 3 minutes at a time. I would go have the radiation, and then run to work. I tried moving my radiation appointments: mornings, afternoons. I finally conceded that I was driving myself crazy and took some time off.

4. Early detection dramatically changes treatment.  Was the biopsy, lumpectomy and radiation easy? No, but it was absolutely easier than a mastectomy and chemo. Don’t put off the tests.

5. Try to remember the promises you made when you were scared. Cancer makes you rethink your priorities. I try to leave work at around 5:30 now, because I know that nothing can be taken for granted. Work can wait.

What surprised me:

1. The needle biopsy. I thought the doctor was just going to put a needle into me, that it would be quick. It wasn’t. I had to be in a mammogram machine so that they could see exactly how to position the needle. I was in the machine for over an hour. The room was hot, and I thought I was going to pass out. The first biopsy hit the wrong spot. The doctor asked me if I wanted to come back. I can’t print what was going on in my head at the time. The nurse later told me “I kept talking to you because a lot of women pass out.” I just thought she was bizarrely chatty. I was black and blue afterwards: I looked like someone had beaten me up. But I am grateful to him: his biopsy apparently took out the cancer cells: my lumpectomy came back clean.

2. Radiation: the table you lie on is hard, and really narrow so they can position the machine around you. They put tiny tattoo marks on you so that they know exactly how to position the machine. It lasts for only a few minutes. When they offer to help you up, take their hand. I almost fell off the table the first time.

3. People are unbelievably kind when you don’t expect it: it’s the people you don’t expect: the massage therapists, the intake nurse, the radiologists. The person who oversaw my radiation treatment was a nice quiet young man. He’d end the treatment saying “OK dear, you’re all done.” as if I was 100 years old. It was comforting.

4.Vanity.  During radiation, I didn’t really see any changes, and then boom! My chest had a purple/dark tan. It was weird and ugly. I didn’t really want to look in the mirror during this period. But you keep putting on the cream religiously, and it eventually fades and peels like a sunburn. Yes, vanity still hits even when you have cancer.

5. I didn’t tell people you’d assume you’d tell. My parents, for instance. I can’t see the benefit of telling my parents, who live in Florida and are retired. I know them: they would wake up every day worrying and obsessing about me. More than they normally do. They’d have a thousand questions. They’d call me up continuously to be reassured. That wouldn’t help me.  I told the people who could handle it.

 

 

 

23. Always take the tough assignment.

Remember in school when you had easy teachers and hard teachers? The easy teachers didn’t really push you, everyone got a good grade. The hard teachers were the ones who gave you a tough work load, kept you on your toes, had you try harder.

When I was a freshman, I was taking a history class and submitted my first paper. When I got it back, it was a C-. Now, it had been a long time since I had gotten a grade that low. I was convinced that my acceptance into school was a mistake, and that I would definitely be flunking out.

So with each paper I tried harder. Slowly, I worked my way up the letters: C, B-, B’s.  My last paper….I finally got an A, but I knew that my grade for the class would be the average of all my papers, so I knew I would, at best, get a B-/C for the course.  This was a big disappointment for me: history was my major, and I started questioning whether or not I could make it.

When I got my grades for the semester, I was completely shocked that my professor had given me an A for the class. So I went to see him to find out why. He looked at me and said “You did the work. I know how hard it was for you. But you did the work, and finally got to where I thought you could be.”

That experience was a million years ago. But I still remember it, because it taught me that you learn the most about yourself and you gain some invaluable skills with the hard assignments. You don’t learn if it’s easy. And the goal is to learn, gain skills and confidence in yourself and what you can do, so you can tackle the next thing.

I didn’t love my professor while I was going through this process, spending late nights at the library. Often, you resent the people who are pushing you and holding you the higher standards. Here’s what I realized: they hold the higher standard because they believe in you.

Make your bed

Many of you probably saw the video of Admiral William H. McRaven’s 2014 commencement address at the University of Texas at Austin.  If you didn’t, take a look.

His key message was “If you want to change the world, start off by making the bed.”

By making your bed, every day, you accomplish something. You are rewarded with immediate satisfaction, as well as coming home at night to the pleasure of a bed well made. It starts off the day with doing one of the many things you’ll need to do: some will be completed, some will feel like a small step. This one is small, complete, and solely for you.

Much of what we aspire to is accomplished by taking those small steps every day: of how we want to live, what we think we should do, and what details we pay attention to. Yes, there are huge decisions in life: what career you choose, who you marry, having kids. But most of them really get made through all the small steps leading up to that moment. So pay attention to all the small steps. And make your bed.

Men I Admire: Derek Jeter

 

Confession, I know nothing about baseball. But even I can’t ignore Derek Jeter, the captain of the New York Yankees. He announced that he will retire next year, which is probably the biggest thing to happen in baseball in years.

I won’t go through all his achievements in baseball. He doesn’t have the best numbers. But as captain of the Yankees, he clearly knows a thing or two about leadership. He is universally respected and admired…even by the opposing teams. He is a quiet leader who leads by example. No scandals, no embarrassing publicity, no regretted tweets.  Ever.

One of the quotes from him that I love is the following:

“You can’t be afraid of failing. You have confidence if you’ve had success in the past. I’ve done it before, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to be successful again.”

Often people avoid the tough situations because they are afraid of failing or making a mistake. But you also don’t learn anything new.  If you have lots of different experiences and take the tough assignments, you will learn what it takes to be successful. And while it’s no guarantee of future success, it does build your confidence so that you can handle the new challenges that get thrown at you. Confidence doesn’t mean arrogance. Confidence is believing that what you’re doing will get you to the right outcome.  If you don’t believe, why should anyone follow you…and isn’t that what leadership is?

Thank you Derek Jeter, for someone everyone can look up to. Check here for his last game at Yankee stadium. Unbelievable.

 

Feedback Decoded: “You need to be more detail oriented.”

This is a new series I’m starting, which is translating what people might say to you in performance reviews, but what they really mean. I was having a conversation with someone, and she told me she got this feedback.

So here’s what it means:

It means that your manager is looking for consistency from you that they’re not seeing. Now I know everyone makes mistakes. But nothing gets more frustrating to a manager when you make lots of little mistakes, or when you make the same mistakes over and over again. It makes them feel like 1) you’re not listening or paying attention, or 2) if these things are wrong, something else is wrong with the presentation. The saying “The devil’s in the details” is absolutely true.

Here’s what helps: a checklist. Simple, but effective. Make a list of all the things you’ve gotten wrong in the past, and when you do your next whatever, make sure you check your checklist. At the least, you’ll know you’re not making any old mistakes.

Some things to put on a checklist for presentations:

  1. Spell check and grammar check. I know basic. But still see this.
  2. Font size consistency across the pages: titles always the same.
  3. Page numbers.
  4. Numbers tie: meaning a number on one page matches it on another page. Lots of time people forget to update all the places where the number is used.
  5. No slang, colloquialisms. Try not to use acronyms.
  6. Check dates: if the dates have past, the status is usually completed, but people miss this because they just cut and paste from the last presentation.
  7. If the presentation is a big one, do a table top exercise prior to submission. This is when you bring a few people into a room to read the presentation, page by page. Often, you’re in the process of making lots of updates: that’s when you start losing sight of the overall deck. Take a moment and look at the whole presentation with fresh eyes.
  8. Give the deck to someone you trust who is detail oriented to review and read before you submit.
  9. The information has to stand on its own. If I need you to explain it, it doesn’t.
  10. Label clearly: simple colors and legends. Be consistent. If orange means legal expenses, don’t make it blue later in the deck.

When details get missed the first time, it’s usually brushed off as a one time mistake. The problem happens when it becomes a pattern: then it’s not a rare occurrence, but who you are.