It took me too long to realize this, but I finally figured this out.

Women are women’s best advocates. Growing up, I saw other women as competition: for boyfriends, for grades, for parental approval. I would feel bad about myself if someone was prettier/smarter/more accomplished than me.  And that meant automatically I couldn’t be friends with them because they were better than me.  Instead, I was snarky, bitchy, and cold as the ultimate defense mechanism.

So when I saw this Instagram, I loved it. How great is it that these four accomplished actresses have figured out already that their friendship is precious enough to withstand the insecurities, the envy, the competitiveness of the world?

If you already figured this out, great.  If you were like me, change your perspective.  You’ll be the happier for it.

Welcome to my first monthly column post. I have always loved September…the beginning of a new school year, new beginnings, and the anticipation of what could be. Nothing personifies to me potential as much as the month of September.

So a couple of things to think about this month: Continue reading →

I’ll be moving to a monthly column on various subjects going forward. I’ve been dealing with a parent’s illness, which has taken more time than I expected….plus, now that I’m retired, I don’t have quite as many stories to tell!

The column will be longer than my usual blog, and will pick a particular subject that I’ll share some insights on. Hopefully you’ll find it interesting, and useful!

Thanks, Grace

This  is an interesting article on why you might be unhappy at work. It relies on whether or not you have a power motive (need to get things done, put discipline in place) or an affiliation motive  (make friends, feel like you belong, joy).  If you’re in a job that is the opposite (you’re a strong power person, but you’re in a job where everything is dependent on influencing others), you’re probably going to struggle and feel stress.

I never thought about it…I usually picked roles because 1) someone asked me to, 2) it was something new I hadn’t done and sounded interesting. But I think this provides another lens to view roles and opportunities.  It explains why I found it so hard going from Citi (power culture) to American Express (affiliation culture).  Depending on the predominant culture, your behavior might need to adapt. I found I needed to spend more time gaining consensus.

You’re always going to need both the power traits (ability to be credible) and the affiliation traits (likeability). But it might be helpful to know when you’re going against your nature.

I really believe in plan b. Too often, things don’t work out as you planned and then what?  When panic sets in is usually the worst time to figure out what to do next.

My lessons learned on the ultimate plan B? Continue reading →

There are times when you really hate your job and want to quit. Every day is a struggle, you’re unmotivated, you feel like you’re wasting time. Here are the things you need to think about. Continue reading →

There’s this great little store called Cursive in Grand Central Station….they sell unusual things like candles, stationary, jewelry, mugs. This was engraved on a wood pencil holder for the desk.  It struck me as so true and that doing this requires courage to tell your story, and the willingness to hear it.