Pivotal Moments

I have found that in my career, I’ve had what I call pivotal moments. They are those moments where you are really tested….and the outcome of how you handle that moment can affect your career going forward. Sometimes because of the aftermath, but mostly because you have now learned “your way” of dealing with the issue. So some observations:

  1. Good people tend to think it’s their fault when the situation doesn’t change. I see a lot of people take on a difficult situation the best way they know how, but because nothing really changes, they think it’s their fault.
  2. If a talented person is dreading coming into work every day because of the situation, they will leave. Companies are dying for talent.
  3. If a talented person is disappointed because their expectations were not managed, they will leave. For example, a promotion which doesn’t happen….and it wasn’t clear to the individual.

If you are the manager, it’s up to you to be vigilant about what’s going on with your employees. If your employee surprises you by leaving, you’re not paying attention.

As an individual, there are several pivotal moments in your career I guarantee you will come across:

  1. An actively or passively unsupportive boss, or worse, a boss who is threatened by you.
  2. A colleague who is actively or passively unsupportive.
  3. A direct report who is not going to make it.

If you haven’t had one of these, that’s great. But it’s pretty hard to avoid these as you progress in your career. A few things to keep in mind: it’s not your stuff, it’s their stuff. But how you react to their stuff can affect your quality of life. What do I find that works?

  1. Kill them with kindness. I know, that’s hard when you just want to kill them or avoid them like the plague. But believe it or not, it’s not personal….and when you come from a position of wanting to help, it’s pretty hard to resist and keep being threatened by you.
  2. Be frank and honest when you need to be. Don’t let bad behavior go by, and don’t sugarcoat everything. It’s all about the tone: you’re pointing out that something didn’t happen that should have, and you need the person or the situation to change.
  3. Get help when it’s over your head. Sometimes, the only way to satisfactorily deal with a problem is to go to hr. Now sometimes it can backfire on you, so make sure your situation is fact based. You have to assume that it won’t be kept confidential….but the right hr person can be invaluable.
  4. If you’ve done everything you can, and you’re still miserable, consider a mobility move within a company. There’s a lot of capital that’s built in being a high performer…don’t just throw it away without trying to find another home.
  5. If all else fails…….and you are miserable, start looking. But sometimes things can change. Someone I know was looking, and the opportunity fell through…but she ended up getting promoted.