Talking about something is fine when you’re trying to figure something out or give advice. But nothing is better than the actual doing. And doing is so much harder.

As our parents age, as our kids grow up, I’ve realized something.

The talking is actually not effective.

Your parents or kids have figured out how to tune you out….it’s either a “this too shall pass” moment, or your parents don’t want to worry you, or they don’t know how to express their concerns.

What I’ve realized is that talking only works when you’ve got a really good relationship…it acts as shorthand. There’s no chance of misinterpretation because you have a solid foundation.

For other relationships, intention is only through doing. So if you tell someone you’ve got their back, you have to do something about it. If you want your kids to be more accountable, you actually have to go through the pain of having them hate you in the moment. (Think about the difference between telling your kid you want their grades to improve vs. sitting down and trying to do the new math!)  If you want your parents to be healthy, you have to do what’s necessary to get them their medications, research their symptoms, take them to doctor appointments, have meals with them.

For me, I want to do more and stop fooling myself that talking is actually doing.