Someone recently asked me about doing “pointless” things….and whether or not that was ok. And what did it mean if she really loved being busy?  What I’ve realized about myself is that I was addicted to work.

Working is a socially accepted addiction. Yes, there are the warnings “No one on their deathbed wished they spent more time at the office” but it didn’t resonate with me. I loved working: the all-consuming nature of it, always having something to do, the competition, the sense of getting things done, getting paid. Being raised in an Asian household, it was the all-time “get out of jail”card. The excuses of being tired, wanting to do something with my friends, wanting to have some “me” time….all unacceptable. But working? It was understood that working was the priority, but I became a horse with blinders.

When I decided to retire, I did it because 1) I could, and 2) people I loved were getting older and were sick. But then I started consulting….the rationale: I could cut back my hours, I wouldn’t be as invested……ha. The addiction kicked in again, and it was all-consuming just like before. Someone said to me “Grace, the job might have changed but your personality doesn’t.”

So, I have stepped away again. But this time, I’ve shut it down…no talking, emailing with people about work. I will get dragged back in.  I can’t help myself.  I am ok with meeting up with work friends for work advice/counsel and life stuff…but not about work.

Will I stay out? I honestly don’t know.