I got this lesson from the book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie.  It is something I try to remember.

Most of us are trained to think about every possible outcome and every scenario in order to come up with the best approach to tackle a problem. While that kind of “worst case scenario thinking” can be helpful, it can also become overwhelming. Couple that training with the desire to not make a mistake and to always be right, (who wants to make mistakes and be wrong?), you have a perfect set up to constantly worry.

Worrying is thinking that the worst might happen. For some people, it’s a fleeting thought. For others, it becomes a nagging preoccupation that takes energy and time.

I used to worry a lot. About everything. It was as if my mind was constantly scanning the situation and picking up on every possible thing which was not perfect and my fault. If someone didn’t like me, I felt bad about it. If a presentation wasn’t perfect, I beat myself up about it. If a project was delayed, I felt I had blown it. I woke up in the middle of the night. I would be cranky.  No boss was ever as hard on me as I was on myself.

So, at some point in your life, you come to the realization that it’s not productive because what you’re worried about is unlikely to happen. When I feel overwhelmed, I force myself to write down what I am worried about, the actual facts and most likely outcomes. Not what I feel. And when you are forced to deal with that set of data instead of your feelings, your rational side starts winning.

Looking back now, of all the things I worried about, I can’t remember one thing that actually mattered.