Tag Archives: mindset

Instincts

You can learn a lot through reading, school, on the job classes. But unless you couple it with experience, it’s like a free floating fact in your brain…interesting, but what do you do with it?

If you haven’t had the experiences yet, listen to your instincts.

A good friend who astonishes me in his ability to size people based on very little information explains his prowess this way:

“I grew up in a tough neighborhood in Brooklyn. So when a guy’s walking down the street towards you, you need to be able to size up pretty quickly whether or not he’s going to shake your hand, or knock you out. Are they a friend, or a hustler?”

Our ability to rationalize and over-think things often gets in the way of our instincts. When your instinct kicks in, listen.

Happy New Year and Thank you

As we close out 2014 (where did it go?) and get ready to dive into 2015, I wanted to wish everyone a happy new year…health, happiness, and success in 2015.

I also wanted to thank all of you: this blog started as a hobby this spring, and it’s been great to know in my small way, there are those of you who find it helpful and valuable. I’ve gotten notes and emails which have been so heartwarming…definitely keeps me motivated to keep writing.

See you next year!

Make your bed

Many of you probably saw the video of Admiral William H. McRaven’s 2014 commencement address at the University of Texas at Austin.  If you didn’t, take a look.

His key message was “If you want to change the world, start off by making the bed.”

By making your bed, every day, you accomplish something. You are rewarded with immediate satisfaction, as well as coming home at night to the pleasure of a bed well made. It starts off the day with doing one of the many things you’ll need to do: some will be completed, some will feel like a small step. This one is small, complete, and solely for you.

Much of what we aspire to is accomplished by taking those small steps every day: of how we want to live, what we think we should do, and what details we pay attention to. Yes, there are huge decisions in life: what career you choose, who you marry, having kids. But most of them really get made through all the small steps leading up to that moment. So pay attention to all the small steps. And make your bed.

11. Don’t aim for perfect. Aim for the best you can do.

We come to work with a desire to perform, to excel, and to do the best job we can.  Many of us have been trained: in school, by our parents, by our peers, by the media to be perfect. Perfection is the ultimate goal. Or is it?

I would argue that perfection is impossible and that it actually creates different kinds of problems for people, especially at work. So here’s what I’ve seen:

  • The person who is always working late hours, missing deadlines because the work output isn’t perfect.
  • The person who delays making a decision, deferring it because they need more analysis, facts, and people to check with to make the perfect decision.
  • The person who is afraid to make a decision for fear of being wrong and not being perfect.
  • The person who takes it personally when something goes wrong because they’re not perfect.

So let me clear…you can’t be at an unacceptable standard of performance. You have to be accurate. But getting to the next level of “perfect” burns a lot of calories…and the law of diminishing returns starts kicking in. Not to mention, the clock is ticking. Remember the professor who marked you down a grade when your paper was late? Well, that also applies at work as well. “Perfect” delivered late isn’t perfect.

No one expects you to be perfect at work…. you’re expected to make mistakes. Now, some mistakes it’s hard to recover from (see Lessons Learned number 1), but most mistakes you can, depending on how you handle it. No boss will ever tell you perfection is the goal…but continuous improvement is. That means 1) fix the problem, and 2) make sure it never happens again.

Here’s the analogy I often use: yes, we need a flight plan in order to take off. But if we spend all our time on the tarmac trying to account for every possibility that could occur, we’re just burning fuel and time. Once you get the plane in the air, you’ll have the ability to make inflight adjustments. You always want a plan B. But at some point, you have to go.

You are not perfect. You know that: so stop holding yourself to that standard. What you are is someone who can learn, and gain experiences to be successful in what life throws at you. What’s better than perfect? Peace of mind knowing you are doing the best you can do.

 

 

13. Most things we worry about never materialize.

I got this lesson from the book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie.  It is something I try to remember.

Most of us are trained to think about every possible outcome and every scenario in order to come up with the best approach to tackle a problem. While that kind of “worst case scenario thinking” can be helpful, it can also become overwhelming. Couple that training with the desire to not make a mistake and to always be right, (who wants to make mistakes and be wrong?), you have a perfect set up to constantly worry.

Worrying is thinking that the worst might happen. For some people, it’s a fleeting thought. For others, it becomes a nagging preoccupation that takes energy and time. Continue reading →