As we close out 2014 (where did it go?) and get ready to dive into 2015, I wanted to wish everyone a happy new year…health, happiness, and success in 2015.
I also wanted to thank all of you: this blog started as a hobby this spring, and it’s been great to know in my small way, there are those of you who find it helpful and valuable. I’ve gotten notes and emails which have been so heartwarming…definitely keeps me motivated to keep writing.
See you next year!
There are many books about how to obtain financial independence. This one book, “Your Money or Your Life” changed my life. No exaggeration.
Why? Because it introduced the concept of being able to pay your expenses through income derived from savings, not just salary. I always thought the only way to live was to earn wages. But I knew I wanted more flexibility, independence, and freedom in my life. I wanted choices. So I was willing to save to do it.
It’s not easy to do, but everything starts with one step. You have to become an HCS (Highly Committed Saver).
The step is to decide how much money you will commit to saving for you. You’ve probably heard this in the form of “Pay yourself first.” It can be any amount you choose, but it has to be something you will commit to and do with every paycheck. Like everything in life worth having, it depends on consistency. Most people look at what they have leftover AFTER they’ve paid all their bills…..and a lot of times, there isn’t much. This step requires you to commit to a number ahead of time.
By making this commitment to yourself, you’re more likely to make the decisions that you need to make during the month to ensure you’ve got the ability to cover your promise. You’ll pass on the spur of the moment purchase, the sweater on sale that you don’t really love, the brunch with the huge group of people which isn’t a lot of fun, but costs you $75 by the time the bill is split. And little by little, it will start accumulating.
Here’s why this is so important. It’s because of compounding. The power of time. So here’s how it works based on a study which was done by Market logic:
Joe opens an IRA at 19 years old. For 7 years in a row, he puts $2,000 into his IRA, avg growth of 10%. Then he stops. No more contributions. He’s done.
Tom doesn’t contribute until 26. Then he puts $2,000 a year until he’s 65. Avg growth of 10% again.
Joe ends up with $930,641. Tom ends up with $893,704.
Now it takes more than just this to obtain financial independence. And yes, 10% returns are high and won’t happen every year. But no matter what the rates are, you get the point. New Year’s Eve is around the corner: doesn’t this seem like a great resolution? What are you waiting for?
“It’s not how much you make, it’s how much you keep.”
I can’t tell you how many people are relieved when I tell them this.
The impression I get is that people think senior people always knew what they wanted and how they were going to get there. That there was a plan.
Speaking for myself, there was NEVER a plan. I was a history major undergrad, and I thought I was going to be a lawyer. But I ended up working in banking, and decided to stay in financial services. I have held positions in marketing, operations, pricing, new product development, reengineering. I’ve worked in credit cards, private banking, corporate banking, retail brokerage, and high net worth asset management.
My point is that clearly I didn’t have a plan. But I did have two requirements: that my next job was always going to be challenging in some way because there were new things to learn, but I would also be able to contribute to the role immediately because of what I already knew. That way, I wasn’t walking into a job where everything was new.
When you’re starting out in your career, it’s perfectly ok not to know what you want to be. Here’s the analogy I gave to someone recently:
Imagine a huge buffet with 300 different dishes. Knowing what you want to be when you grow up is like me asking you “What is the one dish you want to eat for the rest of your life?” It’s reasonable for you to look at me and say “But I’ve only tasted this one dish!”
As you progress in your career, you’re going to try lots of different things. You’ll figure out what you like and what you don’t like, and hopefully, you find the dish you’ll want to eat for the rest of your life.
But in the meantime, relax. It’s ok not to know. Just make sure you’re doing what you need to do to eventually figure it out.
” You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.”
-Winnie the Pooh
I tend to divide the world constantly into two groups. This interesting article starts with a view about dividing the world into two groups: the givers and takers. The beginning is a great story about how a man running a tennis camp shares a very simple concept with the kids, and changes behavior the very next day. Read the article here.
Are you a giver or are you a taker? Can givers be friends with takers? Can takers masquerade as givers? Can takers be happy?
I know a lot of givers. What I like about them is their generosity, their view of doing the right thing, and how they put their needs to the side authentically. They give when no one is watching. They’re genuinely happy for your success.
Takers are tiring: they feel depleting to be around. You feel you have to hide your wins because you don’t want them to feel bad. You’re not your best self because you’re defensive. Everything gets defined by how they feel.
One lesson learned for me is that I am not my best self when I have takers in my life. Reciprocity is one thing, but feeling like you’re the one who’s always giving is exhausting. While it’s never easy to remove takers in your life (they can be family members, long time friends), it does change the quality of your life.
Something to think about. What are you surrounded by?
I used to be one of those people who didn’t pay much attention to breast cancer. I am Asian, don’t smoke or really drink, no family history, and small chested.
Until earlier this year, when I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. As a result of the diagnosis, I went through a needle biopsy, a lumpectomy, and radiation. All good so far, with tamoxifen for the next 5 years.
So naturally, I have lessons learned about this. Also what surprised me.
1. Listen to your instinct. My ex-gyn did not think it was necessary for me to have a mammogram because I was a low risk candidate for breast cancer. My gut told me otherwise, and I changed doctors. Sure enough, my mammogram showed cancer cells, looking like rice krispies on the screen. At that point, you go into shock. But I started educating myself very quickly on DCIS, and learned in most cases, it wasn’t fatal.
2. Get a mammogram if you’re supposed to. My cancer cells were behind my nipple: I had no lump. I would never have found my cancer through self examination. I am grateful for the technology that exists that can find cancer early. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. They tell you to hold your breath…”Really? I can’t breathe!” But it’s over fast.
3. Take care of yourself: I worked until my radiation was halfway done. It was 28 days, 5 days a week, 3 minutes at a time. I would go have the radiation, and then run to work. I tried moving my radiation appointments: mornings, afternoons. I finally conceded that I was driving myself crazy and took some time off.
4. Early detection dramatically changes treatment. Was the biopsy, lumpectomy and radiation easy? No, but it was absolutely easier than a mastectomy and chemo. Don’t put off the tests.
5. Try to remember the promises you made when you were scared. Cancer makes you rethink your priorities. I try to leave work at around 5:30 now, because I know that nothing can be taken for granted. Work can wait.
What surprised me:
1. The needle biopsy. I thought the doctor was just going to put a needle into me, that it would be quick. It wasn’t. I had to be in a mammogram machine so that they could see exactly how to position the needle. I was in the machine for over an hour. The room was hot, and I thought I was going to pass out. The first biopsy hit the wrong spot. The doctor asked me if I wanted to come back. I can’t print what was going on in my head at the time. The nurse later told me “I kept talking to you because a lot of women pass out.” I just thought she was bizarrely chatty. I was black and blue afterwards: I looked like someone had beaten me up. But I am grateful to him: his biopsy apparently took out the cancer cells: my lumpectomy came back clean.
2. Radiation: the table you lie on is hard, and really narrow so they can position the machine around you. They put tiny tattoo marks on you so that they know exactly how to position the machine. It lasts for only a few minutes. When they offer to help you up, take their hand. I almost fell off the table the first time.
3. People are unbelievably kind when you don’t expect it: it’s the people you don’t expect: the massage therapists, the intake nurse, the radiologists. The person who oversaw my radiation treatment was a nice quiet young man. He’d end the treatment saying “OK dear, you’re all done.” as if I was 100 years old. It was comforting.
4.Vanity. During radiation, I didn’t really see any changes, and then boom! My chest had a purple/dark tan. It was weird and ugly. I didn’t really want to look in the mirror during this period. But you keep putting on the cream religiously, and it eventually fades and peels like a sunburn. Yes, vanity still hits even when you have cancer.
5. I didn’t tell people you’d assume you’d tell. My parents, for instance. I can’t see the benefit of telling my parents, who live in Florida and are retired. I know them: they would wake up every day worrying and obsessing about me. More than they normally do. They’d have a thousand questions. They’d call me up continuously to be reassured. That wouldn’t help me. I told the people who could handle it.
I get asked “how do you manage stress”? I’ll be honest: yoga, running, and meditation do not work for me. And life will never be stress free. But here’s some things I do to help manage it:
1. Being really organized.
I didn’t used to be this way. For instance, now I have one of those closets where the clothes are hanging and grouped by color. It’s still a small closet, but I know where to go for what. I don’t have clutter on top of my tables. I don’t have paper all over the place. No unpaid bills lurking with the newspapers.
What this does is gives me good line of sight for what I need and makes sure I got everything before I leave. The only time I left my keys in my apartment was when they were under the paper. When you can see what you have, you’re not searching, hunting, buying duplicates, and getting frustrated.
2. Simplifying.
Simplify what isn’t that important to you. What I wear isn’t that important to me. Black, gray, cream, and navy. I could be a librarian. Everything goes with everything else. My jewelry is the same every day with the exception of my necklace. I can get dressed in 5 minutes…I’m not looking for the skirt that goes with this top and needs this jewelry. Variety is exciting and interesting…but for me, it’s also stressful. Yes, it could be defined as boring. I’ll take boring over drama. Maybe it’s important to you…it makes you happy, builds your confidence. That’s fine….but simplify the other stuff. Having everything be complicated is too hard.
3. Being choosy.
I don’t accept every invitation, I don’t go to every event, I don’t see every movie, I don’t read every book…you get my drift. I try to only do the things that I think will be great. If I hold a high standard of what I do, I’m going to be pretty happy with my choices. Is there any worse feeling than thinking something was a waste of time?I was once working on an Internet website, and the developer I was working with had a great phrase: “we need to carefully curate.” I love the idea of being deliberate about your choices.
4. Limiting social media.
I know this is hard for some people. To someone on the outside looking in, it feels like a lot of one upmanship. Is it going to make you feel good to know every thing going on in other people’s lives and to have to keep up? I think this stresses people out more than they realize.
5. Do it now.
That saying, “don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today”? Absolutely reduces stress. When you tackle that which needs to be done today, you progress. You move the ball forward. When you don’t, you’re just procrastinating. I have never seen a situation get better as a result of putting things off. If you feel like you have too much to do….it’s not that. It’s that you’re not prioritizing. Think…what do I absolutely have to get done today? There’s your to-do list.
We come to work with a desire to perform, to excel, and to do the best job we can. Many of us have been trained: in school, by our parents, by our peers, by the media to be perfect. Perfection is the ultimate goal. Or is it?
I would argue that perfection is impossible and that it actually creates different kinds of problems for people, especially at work. So here’s what I’ve seen:
So let me clear…you can’t be at an unacceptable standard of performance. You have to be accurate. But getting to the next level of “perfect” burns a lot of calories…and the law of diminishing returns starts kicking in. Not to mention, the clock is ticking. Remember the professor who marked you down a grade when your paper was late? Well, that also applies at work as well. “Perfect” delivered late isn’t perfect.
No one expects you to be perfect at work…. you’re expected to make mistakes. Now, some mistakes it’s hard to recover from (see Lessons Learned number 1), but most mistakes you can, depending on how you handle it. No boss will ever tell you perfection is the goal…but continuous improvement is. That means 1) fix the problem, and 2) make sure it never happens again.
Here’s the analogy I often use: yes, we need a flight plan in order to take off. But if we spend all our time on the tarmac trying to account for every possibility that could occur, we’re just burning fuel and time. Once you get the plane in the air, you’ll have the ability to make inflight adjustments. You always want a plan B. But at some point, you have to go.
You are not perfect. You know that: so stop holding yourself to that standard. What you are is someone who can learn, and gain experiences to be successful in what life throws at you. What’s better than perfect? Peace of mind knowing you are doing the best you can do.
Myth: “my work stands for itself…so I don’t need to do anything. They’ll recognize that I am promotion material.”
Getting the balance between being humble but still advocating for yourself is hard. It’s hard not to take it personally when you’re not promoted, and you expected it. It’s even harder if you see peers getting promoted. So how do you navigate this space? Continue reading
I was reading an interesting blog (see here: “12 quiet rituals of enormously successful humans”). Take a read, but one that really resonated with me was:
“9, They keep some kind of personal notebook.”
For years, I have had a personal notebook. (not that I am enormously successful!) I take it on all trips, I always know where it is. It’s a big “Black n’ Red” bounded notebook, with lined pages. But it’s not a journal. Part of it’s a journal, but I don’t write in my journal every day. So what’s in it? Continue reading