{"id":546,"date":"2014-10-24T09:13:27","date_gmt":"2014-10-24T09:13:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mylessonslearned.co\/?p=546"},"modified":"2014-10-24T09:15:58","modified_gmt":"2014-10-24T09:15:58","slug":"still-learning-sigh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mylessonslearned.co\/?p=546","title":{"rendered":"Still Learning (sigh)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So you know when you have one of those weeks when it seemed every day someone was pushing your buttons and you behaved in a way you now regret?<\/p>\n<p>All of us have triggers: something that when someone does it to you, you see red. For me, it&#8217;s when someone makes excuses when something goes wrong. I am not happy when mistakes happen, but if you take accountability, explain to me how you&#8217;ll make sure it won&#8217;t happen again, I&#8217;ll get over it.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a mistake to give me a bunch of excuses. I will see red. (BTW, most\u00a0managers will too).<\/p>\n<p>The problem is that when we see red, we lapse into our more basic &#8220;fight or flight&#8221; mode. For some people, they will start dissolving in tears. Some people will shout back and get abusive. Some people will shut down.<\/p>\n<p>There is nothing harder than trying to overcome your natural tendencies. The first step is to be aware: <strong>what happens when I am in flight or fight mode?<\/strong> What are the warning signs so that I know to pull back, excuse myself, do something so that I&#8217;m not pushed into the danger zone? If you are self-aware, you know to take yourself out of the situation before you do something you&#8217;ll regret.<\/p>\n<p>Someone sent me this <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/pulse\/article\/20141007125123-20017018-amazing-qualities-of-people-we-all-love-to-work-with?_mSplash=1\">article <\/a>about what distinguishes the people we love to work for. It&#8217;s a great aspirational article that absolutely hits all the right points. I struggled with number 5 this week <strong>&#8220;They always think before they speak and act.&#8221;<\/strong> I didn&#8217;t throw a chair, but I did raise my voice and get visibly mad. Now, I&#8217;ve learned enough in my career to know not to make it personal, and I know to do number 8.&#8221;They never talk out of school&#8221;, but still. I wish I could have stayed calm and kept my volume down. I knew the person felt bad. I just didn&#8217;t exercise the self restraint because I saw red.<\/p>\n<p>Still learning. Sigh<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So you know when you have one of those weeks when it seemed every day someone was pushing your buttons and you behaved in a way you now regret? All of us have triggers: something that when someone does it to you, you see red. 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