18. Mentoring

Full confession: in my career, I’ve not had great success with formal mentoring programs. Maybe it’s just me.

Once, I had breakfast with a “mentor” who was assigned to me. We had nothing  in common. We’d try to get a conversation going, only to have it run out of gas. I kept trying, but it was really hard.  It was the longest breakfast I ever had, and all I had was oatmeal.

A mentor is someone who knows you, who’s interested in your career, who feels a connection to you. Someone you can trust, share your concerns, go to when faced with dilemmas. It’s hard to successfully assign a match for both the mentor and the mentee.

But I have had many people mentor me. How is that possible?

One way to do this is to reach out for a conversation. Like “having a cup of coffee” with various people. So, if someone has a really interesting role, or has done some interesting things, drop them an email “Would love to have a cup of coffee/meet for lunch/meet for breakfast/just meet to talk about your career and how you got to be “fill in blank”. Would it be all right for me to set up something at your convenience?”

It’s much less stressful than the formal “will you adopt me, pay for my wedding, forever be there” mentor set ups.

Everyone says yes. It may take some time, but you won’t hear no.

This lets you get to know the person, and gradually develop a potential  mentoring relationship. At the very least, you’ll spend an hour with someone who will share their experiences with you. At the most, it might evolve to a true mentoring relationship: someone in the organization who feels responsibility for you and is there to help you. BTW, it’s great when they’re senior. But it’s also just as rewarding when it’s a colleague.

If you don’t have a mentor, and always had mentor-envy, try it and see.