Dad passed away last week after a long fight with Parkinson’s disease. I will be forever grateful I was there holding his hand when he passed. When I think about it, he was really the person who taught me the most important lessons in life.
- Figure out your priorities
- Work hard and be humble
- Be kind to everyone
There are no words to do justice to what he meant to me. Here’s how I tried.
If my father had a motto, it would be “family first.” His family meant the world to him. Everything he did was for his family. We were always his priority. He was always there for us, like a safety net underneath the trapeze of life.
My father is always with me. He is the standard I hold myself to. I try my best to be like him: humble, hardworking, careful, and patient. I am not always patient…so I think I get that from my mother!
I see my father in my family. My brother Bill is calm, caring, has great kindness, empathy, and generosity of spirit. He also has my dad’s temper: not easy to rouse, but once you do, watch out! He married Liza, a bright and shining spirit, and they gave Dad an amazing granddaughter in Isabella.
I see my father in my brother John. John has the best heart of anyone I know. He can’t hurt anyone, he is a worrier like Dad, and he would never think a mean thought. Married to laura, who is his partner and rock, they gave Dad two amazing grandkids: Katie and James.
But out of everyone, my father loved my mother the most. My mother was so incredibly caring to my dad all these years he was ill. There is nothing more heartbreaking or terrifying than watching someone you love with an incurable illness. Her sacrifice and will was what kept my father going for as long as he did. So many people told her to put my dad in a home and let someone else deal with him. All she would say is “No one will take care of Daddy like we would.” So she did it all. My mother used to lament that my father did not have a best friend. I would say he did and it was my mother.
I am eternally grateful to my mother’s closest friends: Reverend Yoon and Dr Yoon, Dr and Mrs Han, Mrs So…too many to name. We all know sickness can come anytime to anyone: to ourselves, to our spouses, our children, our grandchildren. It is easy to judge unless you are in the same situation. Her true friends didn’t judge, they only cared and supported her. God sees into our hearts and there is a special place in heaven for those who help others in need.
I take great comfort that Dad is in heaven, united with our Lord. I still feel him with me every day. He is still our safety net. We are the luckiest people in the world to have him as our father.