It’s only natural to interpret work interactions personally. Because someone doesn’t respond to your emails, accept meeting invites, it’s easy to think that it’s because they don’t like you. Before you make that leap, it might help to think about the following:

1. Step back and think about the bigger picture. Take away the personal…is there a reason why this person might be ignoring you?  It could be your agenda isn’t their priority right now, or they think you should be bringing that issue to someone else to solve, or that it’s not important.  Some people don’t respond to all their emails….others have a clean inbox.

2. Remember that it’s unlikely to be personal. They don’t know you, your background, your resume. Without knowing you, how can they have a reaction to you personally?

3. Remind yourself: it’s not about being liked, it’s about being respected. Are you behaving professionally, or are you coming off as needy?  When people come to me, I want it to be truly about things they need my help with, not a constant barrage of questions over email, or things that I think they should be able to handle.

4. Sometimes it is personal. People on the receiver side might interpret your intent as hostile, uncooperative, or arrogant.  Are you always late to their meetings?  Do you continually challenge them in a forum?  If that’s what you think it is, clear it up right away. Go see the person and have a friendly conversation or apology, depending on what’s appropriate.  The key message is “you want to do everything you can to help them be successful.”

5. When you’re confused or upset, talk to someone for perspective. It’s easy to ruminate on these things until you are exhausted emotionally, and it becomes “the pebble in your shoe.”  Small, but always there. Often, someone can give you a different perspective that allows you to adjust your own thinking.

BTW, every time someone comes to me worrying about the above, they tend to be the most considerate people.  You have to have empathy to sense this in the first place.