33. Figure out your core value

Notice I didn’t say what was important to you. By core value, I mean something that defines how you want to live your life. That if this value isn’t driving your choices, you’re going to be unhappy. Lie awake at night worrying. Regretting choices. Stress eating. Behavior that you know is detrimental to your overall well being.

So fill it in: If I am not ______, I won’t/can’t be truly happy.

One of my core values is being independent, particularly financially. I don’t want:

  • To feel like I could not quit a job I hate because of bills.
  • To be accumulating debt that just gets bigger and feels insurmountable.
  • To not be in control of my spending
  • To be a burden on my parents or loved ones.
  • To be afraid of the future.

You might say lots of people have that as a goal. But this is a core value, something I live by. So it means

  • I don’t buy things I don’t need.
  • I hold myself accountable to my financials. Dollars in – dollars out should be positive.
  • I buy on sale.
  • I do it myself if I can.
  • I don’t constantly upgrade: shoes, services, electronics, cars, etc.
  • I try and live by the saying “Use it up, wear it out, make do, do without”
  • If I spend money, it has to pass the reasonable test. For me, it’s reasonable to spend $4 on an almond croissant. It is not reasonable to spend $10 on a piece of cake.

Is it hard? Sometimes. But I would not, could not trade this value without making myself unhappy.

A few years ago, when it seemed like everyone was joining start ups, I  was approached about joining one. Like many startups, it had very smart people, some very deep pockets….with the up side being  a big payout later (hopefully), but in the meantime, very little money.  While tempting, not having enough income was not consistent with my core value. I declined the offer, and stayed at my company.  Unfortunately for my friend, the start up didn’t take off.

Now, if your core value is to be entrepreneurial, you’d probably make a different decision and be happy about it. That’s why it’s your core value. It’s personal. But when you figure it out, it’s a helpful compass to guide you in making the right decisions based on what’s important to you and how you want to live.

BTW, it’s almost impossible to be happy without some level of financial independence. Your Money or Your Life is a great book to read to get motivated. It totally changed how I thought about money.